


What Are the Odds?

by Briseis_Lavellan



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Lavellan's empty nest syndrome, Mentions of Casual Sex, Unplanned Pregnancy, implied solavellan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-25
Updated: 2017-01-29
Packaged: 2018-09-02 01:37:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8646859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Briseis_Lavellan/pseuds/Briseis_Lavellan
Summary: Cassandra considered herself capable of great many things except motherhood.  First there was the matter of her age.  She was nearing forty, an age where most women are likely to be grandmothers and not new mothers.  Second there is the fact that she barely remembered her own mother, let alone have any idea on how to be one.  Third, well she never really considered the third odd stacked against her.





	1. Goodbyes Are Hard

**Author's Note:**

> I am now in Cass/Varric Hell and I can't escape. I don't think I want to. I had a plan, but it completely ran away from me and the result is this.

She and Varric had been engaging in a sexual relationship, which began just after the defeat of Corypheus. It began with an extremely passionate argument and ended with the two of them in bed together. They had agreed that they wanted to keep the whole thing purely physical, neither admitting to having feelings for the other. It certainly helped relieve the tension between them for until they finished helping the Inquisitor reestablish order across Thedas. At the very least, it helped prevent them from trying to kill each other.

Finally it came time for Varric to return to Kirkwall, for he had been keeping away from his city for long enough. He had departed without saying anything to Cassandra, not even a goodbye. When the Seeker had learned of his departure, she did not want to admit that it bothered her that he did not say anything so she had decided that it was her turn to depart. While the world still had a way to go before it could be truly put to rights, the Inquisitor had things well in hand with Cullen and Josephine remaining behind. . Leliana had promised that of everything she had been willing to give up to be Divine, she was not giving up her network and they were available for Inquisition use if needed. Other than the occasional “please run these bandits off my doorstep” request, things were settled and relatively peaceful. Cassandra was finally free to seek out the remaining Seekers and to reform the order.

 ******

Lavellan had tried to appear strong as she watched her inner circle shrink as the members were moving on now that there was no longer a giant hole in the sky, or an ancient magister with a god complex trying to destroy the world. Sadly she did not fare so well when it was Cassandra who was packed and ready to leave through those gates.

“Honestly, I have no idea what I will do without you.” she sobbed as she embraced the Seeker in a large hug. It was all Cassandra could do to not dissolve into tears herself. She had felt strangely emotional at the thought of leaving Skyhold.

“You have done splendidly with very little guidance from me. I have no doubts that you will continue to do so.” she said as she returned the hug.

“Of course you underestimate your importance in the cause. Without you, there would not have been an Inquisition, let alone an Inquisitor to lead it.”

Cassandra couldn’t help but smile in amusement at how it all turned out. This woman, who was originally her prisoner, became Inquisitor at her own endorsement. Right after the destruction of the conclave, if anyone told her that her prisoner would not only save Thedas but also become one of her dearest friends, she would have thought they suffered a head injury. Now here she was. The same could be said of Varric, but… well she refused to dwell on her relationship with the dwarf. At least for now.

“Varric’s absence is definitely felt without the sound his stories echoing throughout the Herald’s Rest and the hall.” Lavellan stated as though she read Cassandra’s mind.

“I suppose it has been rather quiet without the dwarf filling the silence.”

Lavellan studied Cassandra, who quietly questioned if she had given anything away. There had been an unspoken agreement that no one needed to know about her arrangement with the merchant prince. She had hoped to never have to explain herself to anyone, especially the elven woman before her. Fortunately, if Lavellan picked up on anything, she chose not to pry.

“It’s going to be rather quiet when Bull and the Chargers leave.” the younger woman said as if she were changing the subject.

“I had been under the impression that Bull would stay.”

“He is, but he and his boys still want to do mercenary work. Times of peace don’t earn a lot of coin apparently.” she sighed, “I almost wish for another catastrophe just so you all could come back and stay a while longer.”

Cassandra felt for the young woman. No doubt she was feeling lonely, the unspoken absence of Solas weighing heavy in the air. The two had grown rather close and his sudden disappearance confused the Inquisitor. Now it seemed as if her friends were all scattering to the wind. First had been Leliana, next Varric, now Cassandra and soon the Chargers, Dorian, Sera, and Blackwall. Maker knew what Cole planned, but she imagined it had something to do with ‘helping’ people.

“It is not like we cannot write. Also it is not beyond the realm of possibility that we would not see each other again.” she tried to assure. Lavellan gave her a teary but hopeful smile, and Cassandra found she was unable to hold back her own. She gave the young elven woman another hug before adjusting her pack.

“I will miss you. Dareth shiral, Cassandra” the younger woman said in her language, wiping her tears while smiling. Cassandra shared a tearful smile of her own before turning to depart.

 “Thank you. I am glad to call you a friend. Farewell, Inquisitor.”

 ******  
Cassandra had been nearly three months in her travels when she came down with some ailment. Her stomach would reject everything she ate and it seemed she had a slight fever every morning when she would wake up. At first, with the vomiting, she thought that she might have ingested some dried ram meat that had gone rancid. When she noticed she had small fevers, she thought she might have some kind of illness. It became worrying when neither subsided and she began to feel tired all the time. On a typical day she would brush it off and push through it until she felt better, except these symptoms have been going on for three weeks and she’s never been sick for longer than one.  She planned on visiting a healer in a small town outside of Cumberland after she followed up on the latest lead in finding remnants of her lost order. At least that was until she discovered a new symptom when she donned her armor one morning, her breasts felt painfully tender. At first she wondered if she were to start her monthly courses since they are typically tender just before, but then she realized that her last one was a little over two months before.

Well, shit.


	2. Feelings Are Inconvenient

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra is trying to figure out what she's going to do while Varric finally realizes what he wants to do.

Cassandra Pentaghast is well known for her stoicism. It took much to crack her hard shell and this new revelation all but shattered it.

 A healer confirmed what she already knew and she was having a hard time trying to wrap her head around the very idea. How was it possible? She and Regalyan, the mage who helped her save Divine Beatrix, had many stolen moments together without any precautions and nothing came of their union. The Seeker had just assumed that she was incapable and didn’t think much on it. Now she was not only close to the end of her childbearing years, but she now she was having one with Varric of all people. Again, how was that possible? As far as she knew, half-dwarven children did not exist or were, at the very least, extremely rare. Lucky her. Maker take them both, what was she going to do?

One option was struck down as she thought of it. She was not one to shirk responsibility by shedding herself of the child. Surprisingly the thought had caused her to feel a pang in her heart. While not happy with the situation, this is her child regardless of its father. She will love and raise the child to the best of her ability despite not knowing how. Then there was the matter of the man who sired it.

 Varric had every right to know that he was to be a father, but considering the fact that he decided to leave without saying a word to her, he may not want anything to do with her or a child by her.

“Ugh,” she groaned in agitation as she realized she was pacing. The people in the village kept giving her sidelong glances as if they thought she had lost her mind. She may very well have.

The Seeker looked around and sighed, refusing to give into the tears that threatened to fall. There was time enough to think on what she would need to do. She refused to believe that this should stop or even hinder her efforts to rebuild her order. As long as she focused on the goals she already established, she will be fine. At least that’s what she told herself.

 ******

Kirkwall’s reconstruction was well underway. It was no thanks to the giant hole in the sky, rifts spitting out demons, and Corypheus’s attempts to destroy the world. Most would say it was thanks to Varric Tethras, who funded a majority of the repairs and rebuilds. That is not to say that nothing was done while he was helping save the world, but the nobles’ priority had been the repairs of Hightown. Varric was not surprised at all considering Hightown was always well-kept while the rest of Kirkwall was left to decay. The first things were the Chantry and the Gallows. After all it was his friend who had blown it up to begin with and the Gallows was place important to Kirkwall’s economy. Then he put money into rebuilding The Hanged Man and the rest of Lowtown while expanding it to make homes for the residents of Darktown. He did it with his own coin and of that from contacts gained from his adventures with Hawke by calling in favors.

Varric had thrown himself into work by helping with the planning and sometimes the actual work of building, not just because Kirkwall was his home, but to drown out dangerous feelings. Feelings that he began to harbor for a certain Seeker. After everything he went through with Bianca, he had wanted nothing to do with such emotions. He thought that if he returned home and busied himself with assisting in the reconstruction and writing about the Inquisition, he could forget that he felt anything for Cassandra Pentaghast. Of course, four months later and he thought about her more than when he had been with her. Kirkwall was supposed to have been a distraction, but since she was the reason he left in the first place, he is reminded of her. When he checked on the Chantry’s progress, he wondered if she would have been pleased. Every time he wrote something, whether it was the Inquisitor’s story or some idea he had, he wondered if it was something she would enjoy reading. He finally resigned himself to the fact that he had it bad for the Seeker and that there was no escaping it.

He had taken the coward’s way out and left without saying anything to her, even a goodbye. He was an ass and if he ever saw her again, he would be more than happy to tell her so. It was all a matter of locating her. The Inquisitor, who he received occasional letters from, informed him that Cassandra had left to find the remaining Seekers. He had promised to be honest with her, and if he can find her, he will tell her the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bit about Cassandra was originally part of the first chapter, but it needed way more editing and I wanted to post before I lost my momentum/nerve. I mostly wanted to focus on Varric in this chapter. Sadly it's shorter than I liked, but I figured I keep it in the same timeline and not skip ahead too much. In the next chapter, some time has passed and our favorite dorks finally reunite.


	3. Reunions are Painful

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Kirkwall Chantry has been rebuilt and the new Divine is invited to perform the dedication. The new Divine then invites Cassandra to attend with her. The rogue and the Seeker reunite.

 

_ Two months later _

It was a clear and bright day with the sun filtering through tree leaves, dappling light on all that sat under its shade.  Cassandra was sitting underneath such a tree, reading aloud the last chapter of ‘Swords and Shields’.  She paused to put a hand on the tell-tale mound that was her child who moved.    
  
“I do not know if you approve of my reading material or if you share your father’s opinion of it being terrible. ”    
  
The child moved again as if in response and Cassandra couldn’t help but smile.  She still had her misgivings about raising the child once it is born, but she already loved it.  Varric had yet to be told, but part of her still believed that he would turn her away.  Another part told her that she was being a coward, but she ignored it and focused on her work.  She successfully found a few of her fellow Seekers. At first, each one seemed reluctant to rejoin the order after all that happened, but they agreed with Cassandra’s plans for reform.  Right now they were scattered across Thedas searching for others, which saved her from making frequent journeys.  It was not a very comfortable feat to travel while pregnant.  She carried her child small, but she felt every discomfort pregnant women typically felt. There was both an eagerness for her pregnancy to end and an anxiousness as to what she would do once it did.   

Giving up her personal mission was out of the question but she also knew that a life of living on the road is not the best for raising a child, especially an infant.  When considering her options, she did consider giving her child to a loving and more stable family.  What kind of life could she offer it?  It seemed to be an easy decision until she felt the child quicken for the first time.  It was easy to emotionally detach herself from it when she was able to ignore it, but feeling the first flutterings of this tiny life that grew within her had her questioning if she could bear to do such a thing.  It was a very strange feeling to fall in love with someone you have yet to meet.  Yet here she was, just a few days from Kirkwall, to meet with Divine Victoria.  

Of course the Divine would know of her condition. Leliana still had her rather efficient network of spies and Cassandra had no doubt that one had seen her and reported on her state.  This resulted in an official summons to this Chantry in the small village.  Considering she is one of Cassandra’s dearest friends, maybe there was some wisdom or advice that she could offer.   The Divine had yet to arrive, so the Seeker sought the quiet Chantry garden where she could read in peace.  Places like this were instrumental in retaining her sanity in the first weeks since realizing her predicament.  Her prayers and quiet meditations helped her keep faith that this was somehow the Maker’s plan.  She is not sure why the Maker would have a hand in this, but it helped her to deal with every single obstacle that this would cause.  If only He would bless her with the courage to confront the dwarf that helped put her in such a state.  

“I don’t think it would be a guess as to who the father is.” the accented voice of the former spymaster broke into her thoughts.  Cassandra noticed Divine Victoria, in full regalia, and began to stand to show proper respect, but the woman would have no part of it, by waving it off dismissively.     
  
“None of that Cassandra.  Not in private, for we are still friends, no?”     
  
“We are, but…”   
  
“Then remain seated, you look as if you need the rest.”  

Before Cassandra could protest, the Divine sat down and held her hand over the Seeker’s swollen belly in silent question.  She sighed and gestured for the other woman to go ahead and smiled at the look of joy on her friend’s face as the child greeted her with movement.    
  
“Did you ever imagine that you would experience something like this?” the holy woman asked in wonderment. 

“I cannot say that I have.  I never considered a life where I would have a family outside what I’ve found within the Inquisition, or the Order of the Seekers.  My life was devoted to serving the Maker, the people, and the Chantry.”  she looked and saw a small flash of regret on her friend’s face.  “I assume that this was something you have imagined for yourself?”

“It was, and I still do imagine it sometimes.  If I were not Divine, was never Divine Justinia’s Left Hand, I could have been a normal woman.  I confess that I am not one for children, but it would have been nice to have at least one of my own.  Now all of Thedas must be like my children, and I need to guide them and teach them as any mother would.  Does Varric know?”  She asked, raising an eyebrow.  Of course she would know.     
  
“No, I have not told him.”   
  
“Any reason in particular?”   
  
“I do not know what to say to a man who obviously does not have anything to say to me.” Cassandra stated bitterly, her hand going over her stomach in an unconscious protective action.   
  
“He has the right to know.”   
  
“I know.”

“Then you should tell him.” 

“It is not so simple.” Cassandra frowned.    
  
“Nothing worth doing ever is.” the Divine admonished, causing the Seeker’s frown to deepen.  The former Inquisition spymaster studied Cassandra then sighed and took her hand sympathetically.   
  
“Oh Cassandra, you love him.”     
  
The Seeker’s eyes widened in surprise before she donned her signature scowl.  She admitted that there was some fondness that she had felt for Varric, that his sudden departure had hurt her, and the possibility that he would want nothing to do with their child shatters a piece of her everytime she considered it.  But love?

“That’s ridiculous.” she said with more emphasis than needed to cover her uncertainty.  Of course, she had forgotten who she was speaking with.  

“You are in love with Varric otherwise you would not fear his reaction, no?”

Her friend was entirely too aware of what was going on in her heart.  Even more than she herself.     
  
“I highly doubt that this was why you wanted to see me.”   
  
The Divine sighed at the attempt to change the conversation. True, this was not why she wanted to see Cassandra but she wanted her friend to be happy.  However, Varric was part of the reason why she summoned Cassandra to meet with her.   
  
“I wanted to invite you to go to Kirkwall with me.  The Chantry has been rebuilt and I am to offer a dedication as well as honor the lives lost in the explosion.”  When Cassandra shot to her feet to flee, Victoria grabbed her hand to prevent her from running.  “I am not saying you have to talk to him.  I do want you there as my friend and my Right Hand.  If you will accept?”    
  
The Seeker studied her friend and the expression of hope on her face.  She could not refuse her this.  Sitting back down, still holding the Divine’s hand, she bowed her head and uttered “I would be honored, Most Holy.”

Victoria smiled and wrapped the dark haired woman in a warm embrace.    
  
“Thank you, Cassandra.” she said, “And no matter what happens between you and Varric, you are always welcome to come to Val Royeux to serve on my council.  You can raise the baby safely while using my resources to find more of your Seekers.  All will be well.”   
  
There in the quiet of the garden, Cassandra wept into the robes of the Divine tears of gratitude.  Maker take her and her ever changing moods.    
  
*****

Preparations had been made in the newly rebuilt Chantry for the Divine’s arrival. He was assigned to have everything ready due to the fact that he knew her personally, and that most of his coin funded the place.  Varric remembered Nightingale’s favorite things and made sure they were provided in her quarters.  She had sent a raven informing him that she was being accompanied by a friend and had specific requests for their quarters as well.  To say he wasn’t curious about this extra guest would have been a lie.  Nightingale had some pretty interesting friends, some of which that he shared.  He quelled the small bit of hope of it being a certain someone.  He knew that no matter her feelings for him, she would be angry about the way he had left.  She would likely not want to be in the same city as he was. 

“Ser Tethras!” a young voice called out, causing Varric to groan in dismay.  The nobility of Kirkwall were trying their damn best to have him installed as their new viscount.  Convinced that the position was cursed, none of them wanted it for themselves.  Varric didn’t believe that cursed nonsense, but he didn’t think would want any part of that job.  He was happy to just provide the coin for the reconstruction efforts and go about his business.  The young servant boy was often their messenger, each sending him to beseech the merchant prince to reconsider his stance.  

  
“A message for you, ser.” the boy said as he handed the dwarf a missive.    
  
“Of course there is.” Varric had long given up having the kid drop the ‘Ser’ when addressing him.  Title usage had been ingrained in the boy since birth and now there is no changing it.     
  
“Also Provisional Viscount Cavin would like to speak with you.”     
  
Of course he did, Varric thought as he dismissed the boy after slipping him two coins.  Bran didn’t even want to keep the job.  Hawke was once elected but… Well shit happened and now everyone was looking to the one other man that seemed to give a damn about the city.  Giving instructions to those helping in preparations, he turned to leave to hear whatever argument the provisional viscount had for him becoming the next viscount.    
  
****   
  


Divine Victoria and her entourage had arrived to Kirkwall and Cassandra immediately made her presence scarce.  She had been informed that Varric had organized the whole event and would be meeting with the Divine to discuss the ceremony and other events that accompany it.  She sought the gardens of the new Chantry and sought solace in her prayers.  She prayed for the souls of those who perished in the explosion, for those who survived or were left behind, for the people of Kirkwall, for the man helping rebuild it, for his child that grew in her belly, and for herself.  

She knew she could not keep avoiding him forever, that she should at least seek him out.  If not for him or herself, then for her child.  One day they will want to know why they don’t know their father and she would rather not tell them that, because of her pride and cowardice, he did not know of their existence.  Admittedly, a dark part of her believes he does not deserve to know.  That part of her was wanting to punish him for how he had left things.  Even so, her child did not deserve anonymity from the man who sired it.  Better to be able to say she tried than she never bothered.  Maker help her, but she was so frightened and she needed a little more time.   
  
Unfortunately for her, the Maker had other plans.

“Seeker?”   
  
As she once told the Inquisitor, the Maker is not always kind.

His voice shocked her from her prayers and she turned her head to find him behind her.  He seemed as shocked as she to find her there.    
  
“Varric.” she acknowledged, though her mind was otherwise blank.  She was trying hard to keep her various emotions under control and to appear calm, possibly aloof.  Not cry, scream, or, Andraste help her, run to him with happy tears.  This was one of the few things she hated about her pregnancy.  She can be a completely different person depending on her mood.     
  
“You’re here.” he said rather blankly.  

She scowled, glad that the familiar feelings of irritation emerged.   
  
“Yes, I am here.  I arrived with the Most Holy to support her in her first act as Divine.” she explained, her eyebrow raising, “Unless you do not want me here.”   
  
When Varric remained silent while all but gawking at her, she sighed and stood from her spot to leave.  He then stepped to block her possible exit.   
  
“No!  I mean, yes… Andraste’s sweet ass!” he blurted, but shrunk at the glare she gave him for blaspheming in the Chantry gardens. “Sorry.” he muttered with a sigh, “What I mean is that I want you to stay.”

“Really?” she asked, doubt lacing her tone.

  
“Really!  I am actually glad to see you.”

A swarm of feelings filled her, overwhelming her.  She felt light at the words, and confusion because of his  silent departure from Skyhold, anger, sadness.  Cassandra did not know how to respond.  She was never a woman for words, but was a woman of action.  While she was too overwhelmed to find the words to say, she acted in the most honest way that she could.    
  
Her fist flew to connect with his jaw.   
  
*****   
Meeting with Nightingale as the new Divine was certainly an experience, but it was pleasant.  After her advisors and servants departed to be shown where they would stay, they were allowed to relax and speak informally. He got to tease her about the hat and robes, told her about how she would have a hard time spying on people with the tall, bright red and white hat and flowing robes.  She turned the teasing around on him in regards to his nomination as the next viscount.  Of course she would know all about that.  After giving her a tour of the new Chantry, she begged a moment to rest and asked him to check on her friend, who could be found praying in the gardens.     
  
He had thought she seemed rather amused with her own request.     
  
When he discovered it was Cassandra that was in the gardens, he realized she set him up and he did not care.  After calling to her and seeing her face, his heart did funny things in his chest.  It hurt when she didn’t seem to believe he wanted her there, but it was not like he had given her a reason.  He expected her to yell or curse him, but the punch was certainly a surprise.  A painful one.     
  
Reeling from the blow, he reached up to rub at his jaw while blinking away the stars from his eyes.  “Alright, I admit that I deserved that.”    
  
She was rubbing her knuckles, his jaw apparently harder than she expected, grimacing from the pain.  “Good, I do not wish to injure myself further by repeatedly punching the lesson into you.”   
  
Chuckling, though it was painful to do so, he tried to take her hand to examine the damage his jaw did to it.  The Seeker twisted and turned to prevent him from touching it, the struggle causing them to stumble onto each other, his hands catching her at her waist to prevent her from falling and his eyes widened in surprise as they fell to her stomach.  He moved them around the swell of her belly, too shocked to think of what it was.  It dawned on him the significance of it when he felt a ripple of movement against his palm.  Looking up to the Seeker’s face, which seemed impassive, but her eyes betrayed her feelings of shock and fear.  Looking back down to where his hands lay, he only had one coherent thought.   
  
“Well, shit.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was seriously considering leaving this at where she punches him, but I couldn't do that to you guys. So I left the big cliffhanger when he discovers the Seeker's condition. Surprise, Varric! Am I not awesome? Don't answer that! I actually had two ideas for their reunion. This one and one that's set three years later and they meet at the Conclave. I rather have them meet sooner, though I plan on writing the alternate version and posting it later. These dorks needed to get it together now and not years later down the road. Because I am in college, I am in the middle of quarter finals and won't be able to update for another couple of days. Hopefully I won't keep you all hanging for too long. I admit to rushing this because I wanted to finish it before my finals. Feel free to inform me of any errors or mistakes.


	4. Explanations are Necessary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And they hash it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I lied about a long wait for the next chapter. I can't help it, this begged to get out in the world. Warning you that I did rush it again, finals and all that. It is also heavy on dialogue.

They were standing in the garden and both had yet to even say anything, other than Varric’s words that mirrored her own thoughts when she found out.  Nevermind that it was his signature phrase to begin with, but the silence that followed was worrying.  He didn’t even seem to remember that she had just punched him.  Cassandra did not know how much time had passed but she was beginning to remember her fears which, combined with her changing moods, were close to bringing her to tears.  Finally he decided to speak.  
  
“So you are…” he began as he stared at her stomach.

“Yes.”

“And it is…?”  
  
“Yes.” she said in a way that dared him to deny it.  He was the first man she had bedded with since Regalyan, and he had been the only man she had been with since they began their arrangement.   
  
“H...how?” he asked, flabbergasted.  In normal circumstances she would have enjoyed being able to render him useless with his words.  Instead, she was frustrated.   
  
“If you do not know how children come to be by now, Varric....”   
  
“I _know_ how babies are made, Cassandra.” she flinched at his heated usage of her name over her title he seemed to notice and took a breath to calm down.  “It’s not supposed to be possible.”

 She felt her throat ache with the emotions she was trying her best to choke down.  

“Well it is quite obvious that it is very much a possibility.” she said, moving away from him while she put a protective hand over her stomach as if it would protect the baby from, what she believed, signs of his rejection.    
  
“Is this why you arrived with Nightingale?” he asked and she thought she detected suspicion.   
  
“I told you that I was here to be a witness to her first act as Divine.  Honestly, if she had not invited me, I would not have come.” 

Something in Varric’s eyes seemed to harden, and she did not know what to make of it.  Assuming that her fears were coming to realization, she decided she was not going to give him the power to hurt her again.    
  
“Varric, I do not expect anything from you.  There is no need for you to feel that you have any obligation towards me or the child. I am perfectly prepared to raise it on my own without your help.  I’m sorry that you had to find out in this way, but do not worry about what your role will be.  Farewell, Varric.”  She turned and began walking towards the Chantry doors to leave the garden.  She planned on finding her room so she could give in to the urge to cry.  Just as she reached the doors, Varric’s voice rang out to her.  She turned to see him storming up to her.     
  
“No, you don’t get to just come here after nearly half a year, and decide that you are going to leave after I just find out that you are having my kid.  Let’s not forget to mention what you just implied.  You were never going to tell me were you?”      

Of all his reactions, she was not expecting this.  He was angry with her?  She allowed herself to feel her own ire and it was an emotion she can deal with.     
  
“Did you give me a reason to believe that you would be receptive to the idea?  What was I supposed to think after you left?  You left and you never said a word to me.” her voice cracked on the last sentence and tears started to prick at her eyes.  It did not help that she realized they were not alone in the as the Chantry sisters arrived and were surveying the garden.  A combination of her hurt and embarrassment brought on a wave of dizziness and she swayed.  The last thing she remembered was feeling a strong pair of hands catch her. 

*****

Varric sat in her chamber while she rested.  Earlier, after he watched the color drain from her face, he noticed she was about to faint.  His heart nearly seized in his chest but he managed to catch her before she could hurt herself...and the baby.  

Andraste’s tits, the Seeker was having a baby, his baby.  He still did not know what to make of the situation.  He was still trying to get used to his feelings for the impossible woman.  But in his moment of panic, he briefly worried about the potential harm her fall would cause.  He was going to have to have a talk with her about everything once she was awake and feeling better.    
  
He was still angry with the fact that she was not going to tell him, but he did realize that he was at least partially to blame.  It was not like he gave her any indication that he wanted her in his life, let alone their kid.  Even so, it was not a completely fair assumption.    

 The Seeker stirred before her eyes opened and she looked about the unfamiliar settings.  He quietly took her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze after he saw the panicked expression that formed on her face.   
  
“It’s okay, Seeker.  I had a room prepared for Nightingale’s guest, which turned out to be you.”  When her hand quickly flew to her stomach, he quickly assured her. “I sent for a healer after you were brought in.  She said everything is fine the...the baby is fine. I caught you before you fell, so there’s no injury.”

“How long was I out?” she asked while sitting up.  He helped by adjusting her pillows and she gave him an annoyed look.

“Only an hour.  The healer said you needed to rest and to eat better.  Speaking of, food will be arriving shortly.  Nightingale specified a nutritious meal for you.  I would eat it if I were you.  I don’t care if she is the new Divine, that woman still scares the shit out of me.”   
  
She actually laughed at that and his heart beat a little lighter at the sound.  He had decided that he was not going to let her go.   
  
“There is much that we need to discuss.” she said, sobering up at the thought.   
  
It was like the Seeker could read him.     
  
“That there is.  A lot has happened in the last six months, I don’t know where we should start.”   
  
“At the beginning, when you had left without saying anything to me.”

He did not like the hurt that he heard in her voice. 

"Yeah, that would be a good place to start.”  
  
“Why?” The sound of it was so plaintive, something within him twisted.

 “Because I was a coward.”  He looked up and saw her confusion.  “You remember Bianca, for a long time she was the only woman I thought I could love.  Our relationship was dysfunctional, with her being married, her family sending assassins every time we meet up, and we could meet up for a short period of time, just enough to have quick sex and be finished so she could leave with none the wiser.  I don’t know what she got from it, but I actually kept hoping that one day she would decide to defy her family and leave her husband to come with me.  But that never happened, then there was the whole thing with the red lyrium…” he cautiously took the Seeker’s hand and when she didn’t pull it back, he gave it a gentle squeeze, “Then there was our arrangement with the whole no-strings-attached understanding.  I was more than happy with what we started, because I was still hung up on Bianca and it seemed to be less risky without assassins showing up to try and kill me.  It wasn’t as messy, until I recognized that my feelings for you were like what I had for Bianca, but much different.”  
  
Her face held an unreadable expression, but he could tell that she was stunned by his words.     
  
“You are saying that you…?”   
  
“That I love you beyond all logic and reason?  Then yeah, I do.”

He didn’t know what to expect with his confession, but the Seeker crying was not it.  Varric wanted to panic, but he moved to the bed to gather her in his arms instead.  
  
“Maker take you, dwarf.” She tearfully declared as she wrapped her arms around his, clutching to him as if she refused to let him go.   
  
“Seeker?”  Her reaction was not exactly promising.   
  
“I am fine, just that I have been more emotional as of late.  One minute I am fine and the next I am either ridiculously happy, sad, or angry and I cry no matter what.  I have heard it is common for my condition, but it is exhausting.”  she said while wiping furiously at her tears.  He wisely held back a chuckle knowing she would punch him again.  At least she wasn’t wearing her gauntlets when she punched him in the gardens.  

“Other than moodiness and fainting spells, how have you been feeling during…” He nodded towards her stomach, “...during this whole thing?”   
  
“At first I had felt wretched.  Food would not stay down, I was always tired, dizziness was constant, and my… certain parts were very tender.   If it was not for the herbal concoction a midwife had given to me, I would likely had starved to death because food was extremely unbearable.  I am over that part now.”  The last sentence was said quickly to assure him, because he must have looked horrified, and he was.  She had been going through all of that alone.   
  
“Did you know before I left?”   
  
“No, though I must have conceived shortly before. I did not know until long after leaving Skyhold.”   
  
“Why didn’t you write to tell me?”     
  
It was his turn to sound vulnerable. The hurt and a hint of anger in his tone.

“You had left me, Varric.” she reminded him, “I was also terrified after discovering that I am with child. What do I know about being a mother?  What would I do about finding the other Seekers?  What if you wanted nothing to do with me or a child with me?  You admit you left without word because you were scared, well I was scared too.  Even more frightening was that I was scared of your rejection because I also have feelings for you.”  
  
“What?” He said, not believing what he was hearing. “Can you run that by me again?”

“Varric…”  
  
“I’m serious, Seeker.”

“Ugh. Sweet Andraste, Varric, I am in love with…” she was cut off as the dwarf’s mouth claimed hers.  A heartbeat passed and her hands began to grip his broad shoulders as she returned the kiss as desperately as he had given it.  It sparked a memory of their nights spent at Skyhold.  The feeling of her lips, her scar-riddled skin, the sounds she made when he touched certain parts of her.  His hands wandered down her side with the intent of recreating some of those memories until they came to the swell of their child.  Oh, he had briefly forgotten about that.  He also remembered that she had just woken up after fainting.   
  
With great reluctance he broke their kiss while letting their foreheads touch.     
  
“Shit, Seeker, we never kept it simple at all.”

“That we have not.”

“So where do we go from here?”    
  
“I do not know the answer to that.  We both have our obligations, but I suppose this,” she placed her hands over Varric’s, which still held her belly, “is my biggest one yet.”  She eyed him carefully.  “You have yet to tell me how you feel about it.”  

He moved one of his hands to cover hers.   
  
“I’m not unhappy.  Honestly, I am just so glad to have you here with me that I haven’t been able to process the whole having a kid thing.  But I love every part about you, and this,” he rubbed the side of her belly, “is a bigger part.”   
  
His amused tone and grin earned him her signature disgusted noise and a pillow to his face, but his sentiment was rewarded with a warm kiss right after.  Varric’s heart was reeling.     
  
He was one lucky bastard.   

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the end, I may have one or two more chapters to conclude it. Originally this was going to be a very angsty chapter but I depressed myself and decided to end it with fluff. I also planned it to be on the smutty side, but I don't think Cass would have appreciated 'doing it' in a Chantry anyway. ;)


	5. Babies are Adorable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cassandra and Varric reflect on what their life has become. They also get to meet the newest member of the family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long time coming, but that is thanks to school and my many writing assignments. I am actually supposed to be writing right now, but this chapter has been nagging me to finish it. I intended it to be the last chapter, but I left the ending too open, so I am planning an epilogue. Thank you for sticking with me this far and I hope that you enjoy this chapter.

“Ugh!”, Cassandra all but growled as she flopped back against her pillows in frustration. She had tried to sit up more against her pillows, but they had long shifted and she could not turn to adjust them herself. Very advanced in her pregnancy, her stomach was quite large as the child had grown within. It made sitting up difficult and she suffered the discomforts that came with her belly being so big. Being on her back like she was made breathing a bit difficult so she took a cautious glance at the open chamber door before deciding that she could try to stand so she could adjust her pillows. She struggled, but by leading with her legs, she pivoted her body to the side of the bed. Now she just had to get her feet to reach the floor and she could leverage the rest of her body into sitting up. 

“You are not very good at this whole bedrest thing, Seeker.” 

That earned him a disgusted groan and he smiled from his place in the doorway. She had forgotten that he could move about with such stealth. Varric appeared at her side to help move her legs back into the bed.

“I only wanted to adjust my pillows.” explained after catching a glimpse of his arched brow. 

“That’s why you have a bell, to ring for someone to help you.” He helped adjust her pillows, and she wanted to smile her thanks because the pressure was off of her lungs and back, but the dwarf irked her sometimes. 

“I do not need to ring a bell when I am perfectly capable of righting my own pillows.”

“There was never a question of your capability, Seeker. Only what the healers have told us.” 

“Complete bedrest, but I can get up for as long as it takes for me to relieve myself. Adjusting my pillows take less time and it is hardly taxing.” 

“Maybe so, but just take advantage of the fact that you have servants and a very besotted husband here to help you.” He said as he kissed her brow. 

Never had she imagined that they would be thus. She had once worried about Varric accepting their child, but he is actually embracing his impending fatherhood. Of course it took awhile, but when she woke up one night to find him with his ear to her belly and a strange look of wonder on his face, she realized that he too had fallen in love with the small life growing within her. He was more watchful, made sure she ate enough, always asking her how she felt, refused to allow her lift anything heavier than a feather, and other endearing yet annoying things excited fathers do. Never had she seen him so shaken when she began to bleed heavily, which is how she was stuck on bedrest. Fortunately the child was healthy, but there was an incompetency of the womb that could not withstand the weight of her growing baby so she was placed under strict bed rest and Varric was all too willing to make sure she complied. 

There are also days where she had a hard time believing that she was married to this dwarf. Not long after she moved into his home, the nobles had unanimously elected him as viscount. Giving up on fighting the issue, he decided to accept the role on the condition he began his duties after the birth of his child. He then took the opportunity to propose to her. It was not the most romantic because of his haste to marry before he stepped into his new position, but she understood. Marrying the viscount of Kirkwall would have meant a lot of unnecessary pomp and frippery along with too many people they did not know making a spectacle out of it. Marrying Varric Tethras, Deshyr of House Tethras, rogue, and story-teller would assure them a small private ceremony with close friends, even though they only had two to witness the event. Varric’s elven friend Merrill stood as a witness along with his future seneschal, Bran Cavin. Divine Victoria, formerly Leliana, officiated the very small ceremony before she departed Kirkwall to continue her official tour of Thedas. It was not much, but Varric went out of his way to make sure it would be as romantic and special as possible. She did not think that she could have loved the dwarf more than she had at that moment, but he always surprised her. 

Cassandra loved that he loved her and their unborn child enough to make sure she heeded the healers’ instructions, but it did wear on her at times. If it were for any other reason, she would be fighting this imposed confinement. Yet she had been terrified as well and she was willing to abide this enforced idleness to ensure the life and health of her baby. She still didn’t like it and felt he could be more sympathetic. Before she could admonish him, he crawled into the bed to wrap her in his arms and covered her stomach with a large hand and her heart melted. 

“Your mother is an impossible woman… Oww.” he said with exaggeration, for she only lightly tapped him. He smirked in amusement. “But I promise that you will love her almost as much as I do.”

“He or she better, for it is already proving to be as troublesome as its father.” 

 

The child rolled within as if agreeing with her claim, causing her to grimace slightly and Varric to chuckle as he leaned down to place a kiss on her swollen abdomen. She was already outnumbered. Sighing in resignation, she silently admitted that she would not have it any other way. 

*****

Varric never thought he would ever say that he was happy. Sure there was the whole viscount thing that he was not really looking forward to, but someone had to step up. At least he could trust that his priorities would be considered in the rebuilding. Lowtown was slowly progressing and he hoped to improve the conditions of Darktown. Daisy and Aveline were indispensable with their advice and suggestions. While the elf mage was happy to accept the invitation to sit in his council, Aveline declined. She had enough on her hands with running the city guard and did not relish the idea of dealing with the nobles. Not that he blamed her. He already knew that he would have to call them out when they find out that an elf would be joining them in running the city, nevermind that she was more or less an ambassador for her people in Lowtown’s alienage. 

Varric laid down the documents that he had been staring at for the past few hours. Even though he did not have to officially begin his duties as viscount for another couple of months or so, there were still things he had to do to prepare the job. He could hear Hawke laughing at him in her letter after he gave her the news. She was all too amused at how his life turned out since returning to Kirkwall. Future viscount, father-to-be, husband… He had certainly settled down, she said. She will be returning to Kirkwall for good after finishing up some last minute business. Most likely whatever shenanigans Rivaini dragged her into. Those two could not be unsupervised, and Aveline is probably glad that they aren’t finding trouble in the city. 

Standing from his desk, he stretched, wincing when he heard and felt something pop. The merchant prince wasn’t getting any younger, so settling down didn’t seem to be as bad as he thought it would have been. He was already missing his Seeker, so he decided to leave the rest of his paperwork for later. Even though Cassandra was dealing better with her confinement than expected, she still wasn’t handling it well. He knew she hated being idle and was her happiest thrashing away at her straw dummies. Maybe not, but he chuckled at the mental image of her smiling as she connected her sword to one of the unfortunate targets. Especially with her belly as large as it was. Any day now, he will be able to meet the little seeker or rogue growing within, and he was filled with excitement and anxiousness. Fatherhood was never something he considered. Maybe there was a time that he thought about him and Bianca, but that was before she was married off, and the thought was brief. Back then they were both young and their ambitions were stronger than the desire for a family. Also the odds for dwarves having kids were low to begin with. Exposure to corruption from the Deep Roads was suspected for the low dwarven birthrate. He didn’t even expect it to be possible for a human and a dwarf, but here he was expecting a kid with the Seeker. 

 

Walking to the door of the room he shared with his wife, he smiled when he saw her wearing her signature scowl. The little crease that forms between her brow had become endearing at some point in their relationship. It was likely because it was so uniquely her. She was currently reading a letter, and whatever the contents were, she obviously found it frustrating because she slammed into her lap and plopped back against her pillows. 

“I would pity whoever earned your ire if you were not bed-bound.” he greeted as he stepped into the room. She turned her scowling gaze to him, though it had softened. He walked up to her and kissed her softly and she seemed to melt under him. Breaking the kiss he smiled before moving down to kiss her belly and greet the kid. It still amazed him whenever he was greeted with a kick or movement. Their kid was very active, which was a relief considering amount of blood lost when she hemorrhaged. He had been terrified at the thought of losing either of them. Her irritation at being forced to stay in bed was amusing in some ways, but at the same time he did hate it for her. Varric knew that some of her discomforts could only be eased if she could stand and walk a bit. All he could do was try to make it a little easier for her, whether it was making sure her pillows were adjusted for when she was awake or rubbing her back before they both fell asleep. 

“I am frustrated in my inability to work with my fellow Seekers. More have joined and are willing to rebuild, but they have concerns. Mainly as to where they will stay. They cannot keep wandering around and hoping my letters will find them. Then there is the fact that Lord Seeker Lucius’ actions are still fresh. We do not want to draw attention to ourselves at this early stage of reformation.” She sighed, covering her face with her hand. Varric took her other one and squeezed it comfortingly. 

“I can see that being a problem. Have you spoken to Nightingale? Maybe she has an idea, with her being the most powerful woman in all of Thedas now.” 

“Yes, and she is doing what she can to help, but she is a very busy woman. I will not know until she returns to Val Royeaux from her inauguration tour. I need to figure out what to do in the meantime.” 

 

She returned the squeeze and looked up to see a contemplative expression on his face. 

“If they don’t mind doing some heavy lifting, maybe they can come to Kirkwall and help with some of the rebuilding efforts. Aveline may also appreciate extra eyes for trouble. They will have a place and things to do to keep them from being conspicuous, and the city benefits from extra hands to build or defend. How about it?”

“It would ease my mind knowing that they have someplace to stay for now.”

“And you can work with them after the kid’s born. Whip them in shape and all that. “

“I will send a raven.”, she said, giving her dwarven husband a thankful kiss. The tension that he saw earlier was no longer there, and was glad he could be responsible for it. 

What she would do after giving birth was a common topic between them. He knew she would eventually have to leave with the Seekers, to get them reestablished. It pained him that it could mean months without her presence, but it was something she had been resolved to do. She will never let motherhood halt her progress, even if she longed to stay with her family forever. He took comfort in the fact that she would wait until their kid learned to use the privy before taking off on long journeys. He regretted that his viscount duties would cut into any time he could spend with her before she left, and wished that he could have put it off until after she left. But Kirkwall’s reconstruction could not wait and even he was aware of his responsibilities. There was also the look of pride on the Seeker’s face when he would share his ideas and plans with her. It was all worth that look. Now that they were having a baby, he wanted the city to be a good place to raise him or her. He wanted to do his best, for the both of them. 

 

*****

It was the middle of the night when a sound she made roused him from sleep. He sat up and looked about him groggily before settling his eyes on his wife, before widening them in shock. She was sweating profusely, her face in a grimace, as she clutched her arms around her stomach. 

“Seeker!”, he gasped and wrapped his arms around her as soon as the tension in her body left. “Are you alight?”, he asked while checking her over.

“I am fine. That one was more intense than the others.”

“What do you mean “the others”? Shit, Cassandra, you mean to say that this has been going on and you never mentioned it?”

“They are only contractions, Varric. I did not want to say anything until they were closer together.”, Cassandra tried to sound reassuring, but irritation was evident. Varric mentally cursed her for being so stubborn. 

“Again, why didn’t you say something? I could have sent for a healer or midwife.”, he adjusted her pillows and helped her sit up before getting out of bed and relighting the candles.

“Because childbirth takes a long time and I don’t see the point in having a dour-faced woman hovering over me for longer than necessary and you worrying constantly.”

He walked up to her side of the bed and took her hand, kissing it affectionately.

“I hate to break it to you, Seeker, I already worry about you constantly.” 

She smiled at him and looked like she was about to respond when a grimace appeared on her face, her body going rigid, and she squeezed his hand tightly. Even though she had not held a weapon in some months, she still had incredible strength and he was surprised his fingers didn’t break. Her other hand was clutched over her swollen belly and once the contraction passed, her body went slack with relief and she was panting. 

“I’m sending for someone.”, he said and before she could say no, her eyes widened in surprise as she looked down. Sensing what she was looking at, he flipped back the covers to find the bed underneath her was soaked from her waters breaking. Looking back to her face, she sighed and conceded that it was time, not protesting when he left to send a messenger.  
******

In the hours that followed, the birth was at least easier than her pregnancy. There had been an incident when the midwife had tried to banish Varric from the bedchamber and Cassandra made very creative threats on what she would do with the woman if Varric did not remain with her. She could be quite convincing, even in the throes of labor. 

Varric was doing a good job of hiding his worry, though she could tell that he was trying not to think of the worst-case scenarios. He stayed by her side, holding her hand, bathing her brow with cool water, and distracting her with stories of him, Hawke, and company. They both reminisced over their adventures with the Inquisition and recounted hilarious misadventures while on missions. He would coax her to breathe through her contractions, and encourage her to push when the midwife urged her. She was glad that she could have him with her, that she could share this experience with him. 

“Okay, my lady, I see the head. I need you to give me a couple of more pushes.” the midwife encouraged, and Cassandra bore down with all her strength, squeezing his hand as she did so. With one big push, she felt her child leave her body and she collapsed against her pillows. Hearing the baby’s healthy cry for the first time filled her heart with joy. She thought it would burst and she was surprised it did not do so when the midwife finally handed the small bundle to her.

“My lord and my lady, I present your very healthy son.”, the midwife announced as Cassandra carefully accepted him into her arms. Looking upon his tiny little features, she was not aware of how much love that she could have for someone she just met. She knew that most mothers look upon their children and think so, but her son was absolutely perfect. Softly running her finger over the tiny face, she knew it was too soon to tell, but he looked every bit like a Pentaghast with her dark hair and little scowl. He had his father’s eye color and time will tell what else he may have inherited, but for now she reveled in this blissful feeling. She looked up to Varric to find him staring at their baby, the same look of adoration and amazement that she was sure mirrored her own.

“Varric, we have a son.” she said, her voice even despite all of the emotion she was feeling. She felt the tears in her eyes as she was overwhelmed by how happy she was. Varric’s eyes were also glistening as he nodded, muttering an affirmative which betrayed the catch in his own voice. The midwife asked her to hand the bundle to his father so they could get her and the bed cleaned up quickly so she could give her son his first feeding. Varric seemed to act even more cautiously as she had when she was handed the baby. But once the boy was securely in his arms, Varric stared transfixed at the being that they both made. 

It would be the same look he wore as the baby fed from her breast, or when little fingers would lightly curl about his own. She knew that both she and her husband were hopelessly enchanted with this small creation between them and she was glad that he shared in her affections. Once she had finished feeding their son, and was giving into the exhaustion caused from bringing him into the world, Varric sat in bed next to her holding the baby. 

“We never did discuss names.”, he murmured to not disturb the sleeping child and mother in case she slept. 

“I was thinking Matthias, for my father.” 

“Not Anthony?”, he asked puzzled. She never really discussed her parents as much as she had her brother, since they died when she was very young. 

“It is for Anthony that I chose Matthias. It would have been a name he bestowed on his first born son if he ever married and had a family. He looked up to our father.” 

“Matthias Tethras.”, Varric tested, “It is quite a name. No middle name or two?”, he teased. 

“Ugh.”, she managed tiredly, “I have enough middle names for the next five generations. I shall spare him.” 

Varric’s warm chuckle followed her into sleep.

They did not know what the future would hold with their impending responsibilities, but they were secure in the knowledge that they would always have love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a [Tumblr](http://briseis-lavellan.tumblr.com/post/144693518027/bards-corner).


End file.
